No Answer
by loveadubdub
Summary: "Can I ask you something?" He doesn't want to know what she's asking.  She's probably going to ask him to do some gay-ass music project. And knowing him, he's probably going to say yes because she'll cock-tease him into it. That's sort of what she does.


**NO ANSWER**

_A/N: This story is a tiny bit of a crossover with my Sam/Quinn story, "Lucky." It's not necessary to read that one, but it's extra-fluffy to even out the angst…_

… … …

The first thing he does when he gets out of juvie is call Santana.

Well, really, the _first _thing he does is listen to his mom bitch at him for approximately seventeen hours. And if he hadn't heard it all before in the weeks he spent locked up, he might listen a little more closely. He already knows what she's saying, though, and he already knows it's all true. He's a fuck up. He's a disappointment. He's a sorry excuse for a son, and he's never going to make anything of his life.

She doesn't come out and _say _any of that, but he gets the message.

He's grounded for pretty much forever, which really doesn't mean much because his mom's never at home anyway. He's spent the last five years pretty much indefinitely grounded, but it hasn't stopped him from doing whatever the fuck he wants. Nothing's going to change this time.

He spends that first night at home with his mom and his sister, and his sister's being all weird like she doesn't really know what's going on and is maybe sort of scared. He hasn't seen her since before all the shit went down because his mom refused to bring her to visit. So he tries being nice to her and joking around a little bit because even though she's a total pain in the ass, he doesn't really love it when she's obviously upset.

The next morning, though, his mom goes to work, and his sister goes to school. So he calls Santana and convinces her to skip school and come over. And it's not like it's hard or anything because Santana will skip school for pretty much any reason. He tells her to bring weed, and she tells him to kiss her ass. But half an hour later, she shows up in jeans and a sweatshirt holding up a dime bag, and he's pretty sure she's never looked hotter.

He fucks her first before they smoke because shit. Being locked up is hard work. It's especially rough considering the fact that he's never gone more than like two weeks without sex from the time he was fourteen- and that includes the five months he had a girlfriend who never, ever gave it up. Well, she gave it up once, but he knocked her up. And after that, she put herself strictly off-limits, but that didn't stop him from getting it elsewhere.

Santana was the perfect girl for that. And she's the perfect girl for _this. _She's hot as hell and damn good at what she does. And she never tries to make it anything more than what it is, so it's like the best deal ever. But there's the downside that she's, you know, a raging cunt and all that. But whatever, that's totally not an issue right now. The only issue is how fast he can get them both off.

Later, when she's sitting on his floor in her underwear and taking a drag off the joint he's just rolled, he thinks she's probably the dirtiest girl in the whole school and possibly his favorite, too. She tells him to quit staring at her tits, and he does, even though he's still not really used to the extra cup-size she's added. They look hot in that black bra, but whatever, they were fine before.

"Did anyone ass rape you in the shower?"

He grabs the joint from her, tells her that she needs to stop watching reruns of _Oz, _and says that mostly they just go to school during the day and then watch movies at night. Nobody gets raped in the ass- not that he's aware of anyway.

"Did anybody kick your ass?"

He _did _get in a fight. Once. But nobody kicks his ass- _he's _the one who does the ass kicking, and Santana fucking knows it.

He tells her to shut up and asks her what's going on at school. He has to go back on Monday, and he's sure the fuck not looking forward to it. Santana just shrugs, and he passes the pot back to her.

"It's fucking boring," she says dully. "Same old bullshit."

He asks how the football team's doing (mostly winning), what's going on in gossip (mostly nothing), and if there are any new hookups going on. She tells him about Shannon Fischer and Clay Hensley fucking in the bathroom and getting caught by Mr. Ellis. Then she says something else that he's sure is her way of intentionally fucking with his head.

"Quinn and Sam are together."

It takes him a second to even figure out who the fuck Sam is, but then it hits him. And all he can really think is _fuck that kid _because seriously? Why would Quinn want to be with some kid who looks like he just stepped out of a boy band? And whatever, maybe he's being a little harsh because in all honesty, everything he knows about Sam, he pretty much likes. But he doesn't like this, and he's not sure why because he doesn't particularly even like _Quinn._

"Why the hell would she be with _that _douche?" He calls him a douche for no particular reason, and he doesn't even care when Santana smirks that evil smirk she has.

"Um, have you _seen _that kid's body?"

"Fuck him."

"I'd love to." He totally set himself up for that one. "But apparently he likes to ride the chastity train." She throws an eye roll in at the end. "God, they're so fucking annoying in glee. It's like Finn and Rachel, but worse because Quinn and Sam are actually like halfway attractive."

"Why's he in glee? When the hell did _that _happen?"

Santana rolls her eyes again, taking another hit off the joint and passing it back. The way she leans over really makes her boobs look even more awesome. "I don't know. Like the day you got locked up or something." She shrugs again. "He's cool, but she's such a fucking whore."

And there's the real Santana. She's been jealous of Quinn forever, and that's obviously something that's never going to change. Whatever.

"Your hair's getting long," she says, changing the subject. She leans over again, and this time, she takes a hand and runs it over his head. "Let me shave your Mohawk back."

Her eyes are tinged pink, and she's already on her way to being high as hell. He is, too, though, so it doesn't seem like a terrible idea. He just shrugs, and they go to the bathroom. She cuts his hair and doesn't fuck it up. And when his mom comes home that night and is furious and accuses him of having someone over, he tries to lie and say he cut his own hair. He totally didn't think about that. She is _really _pissed, and there's half a second when he thinks she might actually haul off and slap him or something, but she just walks away without saying another word. She slams things around in the kitchen for awhile, and then later when he hears her crying, he feels like shit and wonders why he _always _has to break the fucking rules.

School on Monday is going to be a disaster.

He knows this as soon as he wakes up. It's earlier than he normally gets up, but his mom comes in and threatens him. And since he's trying to go a little easy on her, he gets up when she tells him. He gets ready and feels a little sick at the thought of going back. He has to meet with Figgins first thing, and his mom has already warned him that he better agree to whatever the principal says because she already had to go plead his case to keep him from being expelled. Fuck Figgins.

People look at him when he walks through the hallway. No one really says anything, which is weird, but whatever. They all know where he's been, and he's sure that there's been ton of made-up gossip floating around and a million different rumors about what's going on. He doesn't really give a shit.

He's not sure why he finds himself at Quinn's locker, but that's where he heads. There's still fifteen minutes before school starts, and he wants to talk to her and thank her for being such a good "friend" and even acknowledging his existence the whole time he was locked up in hell. He even wrote her a fucking _letter _while he was in there, just basically telling her he was bored and asking how she was and a bunch of other bullshit he totally shouldn't have because she never fucking wrote back. And now he realizes that he's really pissed off.

He sees her coming down the hallway, walking with her chin in the air and her hips swaying just a little bit. She walks like she's some sort of goddamn queen, and he's pretty sure she's convinced herself that she is. He knows she sees him because she hesitates for half a second before pushing her chin up even more and walking the rest of the way to her locker. She's totally pretending he's not there.

"I want to talk to you."

She starts fucking with her lock and then gets the door open. Without even glancing over, she says, "We have nothing to talk about."

He's really fucking pissed off. "Thanks for calling, by the way," he snaps hatefully. "Or like, giving a shit. Next time something bad happens to you, don't expect me to give a shit."

It's easy to get to her, and she stops pretending he's not there. "Nothing bad _happened _to you. You tried to steal an _ATM! _Why are you out of prison?"

She's probably imagined him being raped in the shower, too, just like Santana. He sets her straight immediately. "I wasn't _in _prison. I was in juvie. Big fucking difference."

"You _need _to be in prison." Fuck, he hates this bitch.

"You _need _to be in hell, but somehow here we both are." He raises his eyebrows, challenging her to throw the next punch.

But she doesn't. She just makes her lips really thin and says, "Leave me alone, Puck."

"You're such a bitch."

It's the truth, but she doesn't seem to care. She just slams her locker so loudly that a ton of people turn around to stare. Her eyes are blazing, and he knows he's got her good and angry now. And maybe that's cool because he's pretty much itching for some kind of reaction.

"If you e_ver _wonder why I didn't want to raise a baby with you, this is exactly the reason!" His stare turns into an immediately glare, and he silently _dares _her to go on. She doesn't disappoint. "Just because your mom was content with raising a kid in between trips to the bondsman doesn't mean _I _am."

She's just pulled out the big guns, and if he wasn't so momentarily mind-fucked, he could probably think of a thousand things that would make her cry. He just fucking _hates _her so much, though. Like way more than he ever realized before.

He vaguely registers somebody asking her if she's okay, but he doesn't give a fuck. He finally gets his voice to work. "You don't know shit about _anything, _so fuck you."

"Dude!"

And then he realizes that it's that Sam douche, and he's standing there beside Quinn looking like he's really going to do something. And Puck wants to punch him in his stupid over-sized mouth because really, what the fuck? "Who the _fuck _are you?" And it's a rhetorical question because he totally knows exactly who the fuck he is. What he doesn't know is why the fuck he's all up in his business like he has something to say.

Sam looks nervous, which he fucking _should. _And he's not so quick when he drops his voice a little bit and just says, "Just chill out…"

"Man, stay the fuck outta my business. I will kick your fuckin-"

But then Quinn's pushing herself in between them and glaring up at him like _he's _the one shoving his nose where it doesn't fucking belong. "No, you won't. Just go away, Puck."

He's not going to hit that Sam kid now that Quinn's standing in front of him protecting his pansy ass. What kind of pussy has a fucking _cheerleader _fight their battles for them? _"This _is your new boyfriend?" he asks, and it's almost in disbelief even though Santana's already confirmed. He looks at Sam who is seriously worried now and obviously confused. "Good luck, bro," he says, glaring once back at Quinn. "She's pretty fucking uptight, but if you give her a couple of drinks, her legs fall right open."

And there's what he wanted to say earlier when she was talking shit about his mom and comparing him to his dad and saying he fucking _deserved _it. He doesn't care. He _hates _her. He never loved her. He never even _liked _her. All she ever fucking did was tell him he wasn't good enough. And fucking _lie _just so people wouldn't know she ever even looked at him. And then he gave her fucking _everything- _money, a fucking house, fucking _everything- _and she still just gave his kid away like it was the easiest thing in the world. And he's _not _over it and kind of thinks he's never going to be.

And it's all her fucking fault.

Figgins tells him that he has a bad attitude and that it needs to be fixed if he's going to be a "functioning member of this student body." And seriously, fuck that because _whatever. _He doesn't give a shit about being a functioning member of anything, especially the student body of McKinley. This whole school is filled with people he hates and people who hate him. In another year and a half, he's gonna peace this mother-fucker and never look at these fuckwits again. If he makes it that long… Figgins tells him that if he gets in _any _trouble, he can be expelled without warning. He's on probation, and he has to keep at least a C average in all of his classes, or he has to go to mandatory tutoring. And it's all a bunch of bullshit that he has to agree to because his mom will cut his fucking balls off if he doesn't.

He pretty much doesn't speak to anybody the whole day. He goes to class and pretends not to notice that everyone is staring and whispering. He skips lunch and goes out to his truck to smoke what was left over from the weekend. And then he texts Santana, and they make out in the parking lot until he starts bitching about Quinn without even realizing it. And Santana gets pissed off that he's talking about another girl (especially _Quinn) _while she's got her hand around his dick. So she calls him a pussy and tells him to take his tampon out and stop whining. Then she leaves and doesn't speak to him the rest of the day.

He knows there's glee practice that day, but he doesn't go. Because fuck Quinn. Fuck her douchebag boyfriend. Fuck Santana. Just fuck _this._

That night, his mom cooks for once and tells him and his little sister that her hours are getting cut back at work. She tries to act like it's not a big deal and spin it like it's a good thing. So his sister just gets happy that she's going to be home more, and his mom smiles a really fake smile and nods. And fuck this shit, too. They're already fucking poor, and he's not dumb enough to think they can just handle eight work hours missing from every week's paycheck and not feel it. Not when there's no savings and they already fucking live paycheck to paycheck anyway. His mom's worried, and she won't admit it. He knows why, too, and there's nothing he can do about it. He should be able to get a job and help out, but now he's got a fucking criminal record. So good luck with that.

Fuck his whole fucking _life._

Sometimes he hates his dad more than others. This is one of those times. Sometimes he just thinks fuck it because whatever, it's not like they need him anyway. But then sometimes they _do _need him because he should be out there working and making money for them and taking care of the kids he made and all that. But the last Puck heard, his dad was living in Florida somewhere doing fuck only knows what. And he could be in Texas or Japan or dead by now for all they've heard. But fuck him. They don't need to see him or talk to him, but a check once in awhile would be nice. Fucking deadbeat.

Rachel corners him the next morning, and he kind of wants to scream and kind of doesn't mind because she's apparently the only person still speaking to him. And other than his mom, she was the only person who bothered to check on him while he was in juvie. She just sent one letter and basically lectured him for two pages, but it was still more than anyone else sent. And he doesn't forget that shit.

That's why he doesn't immediately walk away when she approaches him beside his locker and starts going a million miles a minute. He doesn't listen to her, of course, because she's annoying as shit and she talks way too much. But he gets the gist of what she's saying, which is, _"Come back to glee. We need you."_

So he tells her what any normal person would say in his situation. "Looks like you already did a great job of replacing me with the Beiber wannabe."

Rachel just looks at him, and he can tell she's annoyed but that she's working hard on self-control so that she can stay in charge of the situation. "Sam only makes eleven," she says calmly. "We need twelve. Noah, we need _you."_

"Why?"

"Because you're part of us, and your voice is an important part of our sound. And everyone knows it, even if they _are _acting rather childish."

"They all fucking hate me, don't they?"

Rachel's face twitches just enough to let him know that he's right. She recovers quickly, though, because she like takes acting lessons and shit and can lie pretty damn convincingly. "No one _hates _you, Noah. They just don't like it when things go off-course, and this has put us pretty off-course."

"It's _you _who doesn't like things off-course, Rachel. And you're the only one who's fucking spoken to me. So what's up with that?" He doesn't include Santana in this because he never includes her in anything. She just… doesn't count or something. Whatever, it's weird.

Rachel, though, just sort of sighs and looks away for a second. "I will admit," she says finally, "that I was disappointed when I found out that you were going to be away for awhile. But that doesn't matter now. What matters now is that you're back, and we've got twelve people. And Sectionals is only a few weeks away."

"And everyone else? Why should I sit in that fucking room while the whole damn club is hating on me?"

"I can talk to them if you like."

He smiles because it's funny and also because she looks so damn sure of herself that it's pretty damn hilarious. "They're not gonna listen to you. They all hate you, too."

Rachel's face goes stony right there, and he knows he got to her with that. This is the part where she flips from cheerful and optimistic to pissed and scary. It's his favorite part. "I am the _captain, _Noah. They _will _listen to me. And I am more than aware that certain members of our team are not that fond of me, but I'm confident enough in my _own _abilities and talents not to care. Maybe you should try the same thing." She speaks very quickly and determinedly, and he answers her in six words.

"Well, you're more talented than me."

It's a statement that's supposed to shut her up, but he should know better than that. She takes it as a compliment and smiles brightly. "Thank you, Noah!" He rolls his eyes. "But you're very talented, too, and that's why we need you. You are a very important part of our group."

He doesn't tell her yes, but he doesn't tell her no. And he goes to the next glee practice and sits in the back of the room by himself. No one speaks to him, but it's not like he fucking cares. They can all suck his dick. He tries really hard not to stare at Quinn and Sam and throw a chair in their direction. Instead, he focuses on the back of Rachel's head and starts wondering if that curl at the bottom of her hair is natural or if she has to fix it that way. And then he wonders why the fuck he's wondering about a chick's _hair, _and he's glad when she gets up to sing because then he can stare at her ass instead as she leans over the piano.

He starts cooking dinner every night because he feels like a useless fuck up, and it's really the only thing he can do to like contribute. He lets his sister help because she likes it and also because he can stick her with the shit he hates like peeling shit and watching pots. His mom appreciates it and tells them all the time. And he starts doing other shit he never really did a lot of before like cleaning up and grocery shopping. It's not much, but it's at least something. And he's kind of determined to prove to at least one person that he's not a total useless piece of shit.

He stays out of trouble at school. It's sort of easy because he doesn't talk to anyone, and when there's no one to impress/intimidate, he doesn't really feel the need to stir shit up. He just goes to class, goes to glee, and goes home. There's no football anymore because apparently Coach Beiste isn't impressed with juvenile delinquency. But whatever, the season's pretty much over anyway. The only people he really ever speaks to are Santana (because he still needs somebody to fuck) and Rachel (because she has a pathological need to speak at all times no matter what).

And he starts thinking that maybe neither one of those girls is really that bad.

He and Santana go like way fucking back and have a shit-ton of history that mostly involves a lot of name-calling, screaming, cussing, and more than a few scratch marks because Santana's fucking violent when she's mad. But then there's the sex, and that's a way important part because nobody fucks like Santana, and she fucking knows it. And then there are the other cool parts, like the fact that she's pretty fucking hilarious and mean, and that shit amuses him like crazy. She'll talk shit about anyone, and she's so damn serious that it's basically the funniest thing ever. And even though she's a shit-talker and totally mean, she also doesn't really ever judge him. She might act like it and bring shit up from forever ago just when she wants to sting him, but it's not like she legitimately _cares _or anything. She doesn't care that he went to juvie or that he makes stupid-ass mistakes all the time because she's been right there with him when he's made half of them. Shit doesn't even faze her.

And then there's Rachel who for real might be the most annoying person on the planet- mostly because she only talks about stuff nobody else gives a shit about. Like herself or Broadway or how those two are synonymous. But she's not terrible or anything. She's a pain in the ass a lot of the time, but she like legit cares about shit, so it's not like you can really hold it against her. He sort of thinks it's cool that she's that dedicated and focused- it's like she knows exactly what she wants and she's going to get it no matter what she has to do or what anyone else thinks. He wishes he wanted _anything _as much as she wants _everything_. She is being nice to him, too- well, as nice as she can be when every other word is in a lecturing sort of tone. He doesn't like hate her for it or anything, though, because at least she's not ignoring him like the rest of the world.

Finn's out sick one day, and she asks him if he'll take her home after glee. And he says yes because he's not going to let her walk when it's like zero degrees outside and supposed to snow by the time the sun goes down. Plus, he thinks it means something that she asked him and not anyone else- it's because she knows that everyone really does hate her as much as they hate him. If she asked anyone else, they'd probably all come up with excuses for why they can't give her a ride. But he just says yes and kind of laughs a little when she can barely climb into the truck.

They don't talk a lot on the way to her house, which is fine with him because she talks way too goddamn much on any normal day. He doesn't want to think of how annoying she'd be locked in a truck with him for the ten minute ride to her house. She mostly stays quiet, though, and just sort of looks out the window and every once in awhile says something about Sectionals. She tells him how to get to her house even though he already knows because it's not like they didn't date for five minutes last fall, and it's not like he hasn't been over there a few times since. He tells her to shut up and let him drive, and she yawns and leans her head over against the window.

When he pulls into her driveway, he puts the truck in park and waits for her to get out. She leans over to get her bag out of the floorboard, and he wishes she didn't have a coat on so that he could get a glimpse of her boobs or something. He could probably help her since it looks like her bag weighs as much as she does, but he's a little bit too lazy for all that. She struggles with it and reaches for the door handle. Right before she pulls it, though, she stops and looks at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

He just looks at her. He doesn't even want to think about what she might be asking him. He doesn't totally trust her, and she's probably going to ask him to do some really stupid gay music project or something. And knowing him, he'll say yes because she'll cock-tease him into it. That's kind of what she does.

It doesn't matter that he doesn't give her permission to ask away because she starts talking anyway. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

She looks at him like he's stupid, but he's not stupid. He knows exactly what she's talking about, he just wants to hear her say it. She does.

"Why did you steal an ATM from a convenience store?"

The way she says it so plainly and formally almost makes him laugh. Then he almost tells her to fuck off because it's really not her business. But he doesn't because she's the first person who's asked him _why _he did it. He's heard a lot of, "_What possessed you?" "Why did you think that was a good idea?" "Were you stupid enough to think you'd get away with it?"_

But no one has asked him _why._

Rachel's staring at him, waiting for an answer. It's funny that he doesn't have one. He doesn't _know _why. He doesn't know why he does half the things he does. He didn't wake up that morning and think he was going to go to the 7-11 and steal an ATM. He isn't even sure when the idea hit him. He just thought it sounded cool, and the next thing he knew, he was being dragged out of the car and slammed face-first onto the ground. Then he was locked up for more than a month while he waited for his court date. Now he's on probation, and anything he does wrong could potentially send him back to jail. And the judge already warned him that next time he'd be in serious shit. He doesn't say any of this to Rachel.

Instead, he says, "Just something to do."

She continues to stare at him. He doesn't blame her. He knows he's just given the most bullshit answer in the history of bullshit, but he doesn't know what else to say. There's no good answer or reason for why he would drive his mom's car into the front of a gas station and try to get away with the ATM. It just happened. It sucks, but it is what it is.

"Noah, you had to know that was stupid." She says this very forwardly, and if it was anyone else, he's pretty sure he'd be seriously pissed off. For some reason, though, he just doesn't see himself getting really pissed off with her.

"Well, fucking _duh," _he says, rolling his eyes. "I spent more than a month in juvie, didn't I? Obviously it was dumb."

"I mean you must have known it was dumb _before _you did it."

He just shrugs.

"Do you like getting in trouble?"

"Better than being bored."

That's a lie. It's not. He'd rather be bored than living in a detention facility with a bunch of other dudes that are all miserable. He'd rather be bored than know that his mom is worrying and spending money she doesn't have to get him an attorney and keep him out of jail for even longer. Rachel seems to know it's a lie, but she doesn't call him on it.

"Well, I'm glad you're out," she says, and she sort of looks away. He wonders why. He also must be really hard up because she is looking _super _hot today. "I hope nothing like that ever happens again."

"Everyone was talking shit, weren't they?" He hasn't asked what people were saying because he really doesn't care. Now, though, he feels like he wants to know the answer, and he wants Rachel to be the one to tell him.

She twists in her seat a little and then finally drops her bag onto the seat between them. "No one really said much," she says finally, and he can't tell if it's the truth. "Everyone just sort of thought it was dumb, and then… Nobody really mentioned it a lot after that."

Because no one gives a shit.

"You know you're the only person who wrote me?" She looks at him, and he just nods. "I mean, like besides my mom or whatever."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she says quietly. "You didn't write me back."

"Did you think I would?"

And she just shakes her head. It sort of makes him feel like shit.

"I was fine," he tells her. "It wasn't that bad."

She nods. And then she looks out the window for a second. "I'm glad you're back," she says again. "And that it wasn't that bad."

He dreams about her that night, and it freaks him out more than it normally does. It's not like it's a super unusual thing to dream about because she's one of the girls who shows up kind of a lot when he's asleep. But when he wakes up, he's kind of nervous and can't really look her in the eye for a couple of days.

He thinks Finn's a prick.

Really. He does. They used to be best friends, and he knows that he's the one who fucked it all up. But then they sort of got over hating each other and were friends again. But then Finn didn't give a shit the whole time he was in trouble. Puck wonders if he knows that Rachel wrote him that letter. He wonders if he'd have a problem with it or if he'd be cool with it. Maybe he thinks Rachel's so goddamn perfect that there's no way in hell there could ever be a repeat of last year. And maybe she is. Or maybe she's not. Because what Finn doesn't know is that Rachel _almost _cheated on her last boyfriend, and Puck's pretty damn sure that if he tried hard enough, he could totally get her to do it again. But he's not going to. Because he doesn't want that kind of drama, and he's pretty sure that it would mostly just end with Rachel hating him. And since she's the only person who really speaks to him, he figures he probably shouldn't piss her off.

Even if it would totally fucking _ruin _Finn. Who is a useless friend and a dumbass.

Sectionals come and go, and they win because their competition is pretty lame. No one really cares that much when they win, which is way different from last year when people were like turning cartwheels and jumping for joy. They all know it's different now, though. Sectionals don't matter. It's Regionals that they want to win- _need _to win. They need to beat Vocal Adrenaline because Rachel needs to get revenge- or at least that's why he and Rachel (and maybe Finn) need to beat Vocal Adrenaline. The others just need to win so that they can take their lame asses to Nationals in New York and pretend like they've actually fucking been somewhere.

One night over Christmas break, Rachel shows up at his house, and when he opens the front door to see her standing there in pajamas and looking pretty out of it, he wonders what the fuck kind of parallel universe this is.

"I think Finn just dumped me," she says dully, and he stares at her, wondering why the hell that means she needs to show up uninvited and unannounced at eleven o'clock. Still, he holds the door open and lets her in, and she sits down on his couch and says nothing.

"Okay, first of all," he says flatly when it's obvious that she's not going to elaborate, "why do you think he just dumped you?"

"We got in an argument."

He rolls his eyes, and he doesn't even care when she glares at him. He just sits down on the other end of the couch and turns so he's leaning against the armrest and looking at her. "And what? That's the first time you've ever had an argument?"

"Of course not."

"Then what makes you think he dumped you?"

She frowns and looks sad, and he feels a little bit bad for her but not enough to tell her. "He said he feels like he's suffocating."

"He probably doesn't even know what suffocate means." He's trying to joke, but she doesn't seem to find the humor. She just looks at him dully, so he tries a different approach. "Seriously, he probably just needs like a night to cool off or something."

"I didn't mean to suffocate him. I don't know what I did wrong…"

He still doesn't know why she's _here _telling _him _this. But then he remembers- she doesn't have any friends.

"Finn's an idiot." He doesn't even feel bad saying it. He kind of feels like all rules of the guy code are off once one of them refuses to give a shit when his so-called best friend is in fucking _jail. _

And then Rachel's crying, and all he can think is _fuck my life _because seriously? Fuck this. He doesn't know what to do with her, and he's not going to like go and hug her or some shit. So he just sits there and lets her cry because he kind of thinks that's all she wants to do anyway. He doesn't know why she can't do that at her own house. He's sure her gay dads are like good with emotional and sappy shit. He's sure the fuck not.

"Do you have any water?" she asks quietly between sniffles, and he rolls his eyes because they may be poor, but this isn't like fucking Ethiopia or some shit. They have _water._

He goes to the kitchen to get her a bottle, and while he's in there, he contemplates calling someone to come take care of this. But he doesn't know who he would call. He doesn't know her dads like that, and the only person he knows who gives a shit about Rachel is… well, _Finn. _And obviously he's not calling Finn. And the only person he knows who probably even answer his phone call is Santana, and he's sure the fuck not asking Santana to come fix this. She'd probably just come over and tell Rachel about that time last year when she fucked Finn, and then all hell would break loose. And yeah, he's not having that drama in _his _house.

So he doesn't call anyone. He just takes Rachel the water and watches as she sips it and somehow calms herself down enough to stop crying. Then she just sits there and doesn't say anything, and being around silent Rachel is really fucking awkward and uncomfortable. As much as she annoys the shit out of him when she's blabbing on about bullshit, he prefers talking Rachel to silent Rachel. Because silent Rachel is just fucking weird.

He makes a mental note to kick Finn's ass the next time he sees him.

And since he doesn't know what else to do, he does what he does best- he lies.

"I don't think he dumped you… I think he was just like… talking out of his ass. I'm sure it's fine."

And he's not sure. At all. Because Finn doesn't just bust out big words like _suffocating _for no reason. That's like four syllables. But he's not going to tell Rachel that. And anyway, if she wants it badly enough, he knows she can fix it.

She drinks the rest of her water, and then they watch a rerun of _The Soup. _She doesn't really say anything at all the whole time, and it's freaky as hell. But then when she says she needs to go home, she hugs him, and he doesn't push her off or anything because he thinks she probably just needs someone to hug her back. So he does.

He doesn't hear from her for the rest of break, and when he sees her at school, she's holding hands with Finn, and it doesn't look like anyone's struggling to breathe.

He comes home from school one day and finds his mom crying in the kitchen, and he almost leaves because he fucking _hates _when his mom cries. She sees him before he can escape, though, and she wipes her eyes really fast and tries to make it look like she's just sitting at the table drinking coffee. But he's not stupid, and he totally doesn't miss the fact that it's the middle of the afternoon and she should be at work.

When he asks her what's wrong, she just puts on that stupid fake smile and shakes her head. "Nothing. Just a little stressed."

"Why aren't you at work?"

"I wasn't feeling very well, so I left at lunch."

This could be the truth. Or it could be a lie. He doesn't know, and he doesn't really want to find out. He doesn't want to hear that she's lost her job and that they're going to be foreclosed on within two months or anything like that. So he just believes her and hopes that it's the truth. He doesn't really think she'd lie about something like that anyway.

"Are you sick?"

She shakes her head. "No, I'm just stressed." This time she doesn't say it with a fake smile, so he believes it a little more. She looks worried and like she might burst into tears again.

"I can start cleaning pools again in the summer." It sounds stupid because it's only January, but it's all he's got to offer. His mom kind of smiles at him and shakes her head.

"It's going to be fine," she tells him, and he knows she's trying to convince herself just as much as she's trying to convince him.

"I need to pay you back," he says quietly, and he feels guilty so he looks down at the table. "For all the legal sh-stuff."

"It's okay." Her voice sounds tired but honest. "It's going to be fine."

And he doesn't argue because he knows how badly she wants to believe it. He sees her eyes going all watery again, though, so he gets her a bottle of water out of the fridge. He remembers how it calmed Rachel down and thinks maybe it could work the same on his mom. It doesn't seem to have the same effect, but she sips it anyway. And because there's nothing else he can do, he leans down when he's standing behind her chair and wraps his arms around her shoulder. He leans his head against hers when she lifts a hand up to pat his arm. And he hopes she knows what it means and hopes she knows that she's the most important thing in the world.

When his sister gets off the bus fifteen minutes later, he takes her out for pizza because it'll give his mom some time to cry all she needs. He laughs at his sister's lame Laffy Taffy jokes as they wait for their pizza, and they take leftovers home to their mom. They all watch some Disney movie that night, and he doesn't even complain.

That night, he calls Santana at 2 AM and tells her to come over. He sneaks her upstairs and fucks her until he forgets the way his mom's face looked when she was lying.

Rachel and Finn break up for real the very next day, and for some reason, Puck feels like it's another fucking wrench in his _own _world. He doesn't know why. Rachel doesn't come to him crying this time, but she does ask if he will start taking her home after glee. And he tells her he'll take her home even when they don't have practice.

He wants to ask what happened and what was so serious that it caused the breakdown of the power couple. He doesn't, though, because she looks tired and lonely and sad. She's also quiet again when she climbs into his truck, and he hates it because it's so fucking weird. He doesn't know what to do or what to say, so he doesn't say anything. He just reaches into his own bag and pulls out a bottle of water. He hands it to her and doesn't say anything.

"Thanks," she says quietly, and then she twists the cap off and sips at it slowly.

He wonders if it makes her feel better.

When he gets home, he gets his own bottle of water out of the fridge and mimics her slow sipping. He expects it to have some sort of magical calming effect he's just never noticed. It doesn't, though. He doesn't feel any better.

Life is still shit.

He still doesn't have any answers.

… … …


End file.
